| I still can't believe it's real. I see the news, the papers, and I hear people talking, but it just seems like a dream. I go to sleep only to wake up and hope that it'll all go back to the way it was. The frat across the street will still be the "party house", Ryan will still be in his room with Lauren, I will still hear the beer bottles being shattered on the streets as drunk people walk home on a Saturday night. But tonight, I sit here, and all I hear is silence. No music, no yelling, no anything. That might be welcomed by some people, it may seem like a resolution to get rid of the loud frat house, the underage drinking, the stupid drunken fights- but I just want it all back. I don't want the image of flames coming out of Ryan's window, coming out of the roof to be in my mind. I don't want to remember waking up to the sirens and the lights, only to run out side and watch the fire for a hour and a half. I don't want to keep hearing the officer tell us "Ryan didn't make it." He was supposed to be okay. Everyone was supposed to be okay. This was supposed to be a good, fun activation for the pledges. Atleast he didn't suffer. I know that things happen for a reason- it's just hard to grasp at a time like this. I just met Ryan in August, and already he's gone. The three other guys, why do they have to suffer? Just keep praying. Pray for Ryan, for Lauren, for Ryan's family and friends. For David, Aaron, and Travis. For all the families, all the friends, and all the brothers of Phi Tau. |
